Domination for Trans People
As a queer Dominatrix, I love seeing clients of all genders. A large majority of domination clients are cis men, which won't come as a surprise to most. There are a myriad of reasons for this relating to power, money, and social norms- but many trans people could also benefit from a knowledgeable person to guide them as they explore their desires.
There is certainly no shortage of cis male lifestyle Dominants waiting to fill that role, but safety is a serious concern for trans people. How can you be sure the person you're playing with is safe? Many in the BDSM community use a system of references for this purpose, and that's a great place to start.
But what does a person do if they don't have time to participate in the community and attend events to meet play partners? Or is too anxious to participate? The most efficient way to get your desires met in a safe environment is to hire a professional. It's still important to do your research on the Domme you're interested in seeing, and I suggest reading reviews and even just Googling the Domme's name to see what comes up. Beyond just safety, it's also important to find a Domme who is experienced with trans bodies and knowledgeable about the trans experience.
In order to make the process of seeing a Domme easier for trans clients, I've made sure My session request form is inclusive. There is a text box to type in your gender, and a section to provide information about your body that you think might be relevant to our time together. None of the activities listed are gendered, and instead focus on the part of the body they involve. In pre-session negotiation, I ask specific questions about how you do or do not want to be touched, and if there are specific words or phrases you'd like Me to avoid- relating to your body or otherwise. I also ask if there are certain types of praise that are particularly affirming for you. I don't think I need to explain how important this can be for some people! A single word can ruin an entire experience.
On that note, I want to specifically touch on feminization/sissification. This kink is definitely not exclusive to cis men, but I know it creates a particular type of anxiety for many trans-feminine clients. I will never use sissy terminology or attempt feminization on anyone without explicit consent. I understand the difference between a trans woman and a "cross dresser" so there is no need to worry that you'll be treated in an invalidating and degrading way- unless that is what you state you are seeking! I have heard from many of My trans friends and subs that this is a common and awful experience for them when seeking Domination and it will NEVER happen while you are under My control.
Seeing a Dominatrix who understands your identity can be an incredibly healing experience and I'm honored every time a trans person trusts Me to provide that for them. I hope this blog gives some reassurance to anyone who has been considering it but has been nervous about having a bad experience. Everyone deserves to have their desires fulfilled!